“Green Day’s” “Father of All…” is an anomaly. The album somehow plays it too safe while managing to pursue the worst ideas possible. Although often revisiting the blandest of the group’s previous work, the sound-production, mixing, writing, and performance on the record is unforgivably flawed, keeping it from even achieving a mediocre rating.

For some mind bending reason, the group decided it was bored of writing more ambitious songs and sneezed the laziest tracks they could think of into their microphones. Dredging up the most forgettable of the 2000s, the record dives into – and ruins – the worst of the already overdone sounds of garage rock, indie pop, and alternative rock. Nothing new is done with this either. With no unique spin on the sound and no interesting writing, the album feels utterly pointless. Nevermind the bland instrumentals, Billie Joe has nothing to say. He’s often singing about absolutely nothing. The title track is a prime example of this. In a word, this album is utterly vapid: Devoid of purpose, meaning, or enjoyment. 

What makes this even more frustrating is that, as usual, the band performs it technically well, although what they’re playing may not be compelling.  Surrounding it all, obnoxious clapping and backup singing invalidates any potential meaning that could ever exist on the record. From beginning to end, “Father of All…” is exactly what the title implies: a dad band playing in their garage, forever stuck in the past. 

One thing to take away from the record is that it sounds like the group had fun recording it, and I’m sure they’ll enjoy touring for it. It’s not a crime to write bad music if that’s what they want to do. There’s also rumours among the fanbase that the record is nothing but a troll designed purely to get the band out of their record deal, and that they’ve got a masterpiece on the way. I sincerely hope that that’s the case, but in the meantime: don’t listen to this album. Just don’t do it. “Father of All…” is a .5 out of five.