Some call it an emotionless void of reality, others call it a way to decompress. Ultimately, it is called social media. Social media’s grasp is rapidly becoming a reality of life. I’m here to tell you that I have a problem with your favorite digital mode of community.

TikTok: 

Brain rot… TikTok is nothing more than an endless stream of mindless nothingness. While it might be possible to find something informational on TikTok, the amount of mentally decaying content severely outweighs anything slightly educational. Also, TikTok is one of those apps where you can get looped into content consumption for hours on end only to realize that you’re watching “Baby Gronk rizzing up Livvy Dunne in Ohio.”

Instagram: 

Here’s how you develop depression: step one: open Instagram. Step two: refer back to step one. Every single piece of content that you will find on Instagram will actively contribute to your underlying depression. (Except for those dog videos. Those are good.)

Snapchat: 

At this point, Snapchat is pretty much a popularity contest that nobody is winning. To the people who are constantly narrating their lives on their stories: please stop. We don’t care about your mom taking your phone, or you failing your math test, or even how much homework you have. I mean we are seriously just not interested. (Wait but I might be interested in how you are still posting stories while your mom has your phone. Explain.)

X: 

Unless you are addicted to politics, X is not for you. If you are addicted to politics, on X you will only find the most wild political opinions, accompanied by countless bits of misinformation and straight-up disinformation. It’s no coincidence that you will find all of the “canceled” celebrities using X as their therapy diary. 

Reddit: 

Almost every time I look up a question on Google, some completely irrelevant, idiotic Reddit thread pops up. If I dare to click on it, there is nearly a 100 percent chance that I will get dragged into some crazy rabbit hole of the most unhinged, yet interesting, Reddit stories. Anyone want to hear about how “My faith in the world and the people in it was restored by a stranger in a bathroom?”

Facebook: 

The only good thing about Facebook is the fact that there was a good movie about it. Go stream the Social Network on Netflix. Facebook used to be this exclusive and “hip” social media. Now it’s just a bunch of Gen X people posting the worst memes known to humankind. Sorry Karen, not interested in your fifth minions meme post of the day. 

At this point, you may be wondering: what social media should I use? Well, the point is, you shouldn’t. All social media is destructive and actively rotting your brain, so use it in moderation. Especially the ones listed above. Go touch some grass! (But don’t put it on your snap story.)