There is a problem at Archie Williams. Students know it as the “Archie Williams Lunch Conundrum.” You see, eating lunch at this school can be challenging. There are a few different lunch options at Archie Williams, each with many pros, and equally as many cons. 

Red Hill Shopping Center:

Becoming a Red Hill fiend is a scary thing–believe me, I’ve been there–but maturing is realizing that Red Hill is nothing more than an overrated money pit. Red Hill elevates Marin prices to a new extreme, only offering “mid” food in return. Unless you are going to The Hub for the lunch special or Swirl on a student-discount Tuesday, chances are you’re getting ripped off. And to worsen the issue, have fun walking about with a bunch of fresh-faced frosh with unmatched egos. At this point, we might as well call it White Hill instead of Red Hill.

The Canteen:

From the mystery meat burgers to the equally as mysterious taco salad, it’s a miracle to find edible lunch options at Archie Williams. The only “safe” canteen option is the salad. That being said, for student-athletes at Archie Williams, salads just won’t cut it, with their lack of calories, proteins, and fats. Many athletes then turn to the meat-based products, but good luck stomaching down that synthetic thing they call meat with a side of stomach ache.

Other locations: 

Good news! Red Hill isn’t the only place you can get lunch from outside of school. Go ahead and enjoy the best of both San Anselmo and Fairfax’s amazing (overpriced) restaurants. At this moment you might be thinking, “Wow, cool, sign me up!” The bad news is the only way to get there is by car. So, have fun with traffic, parking, and paying for California’s astonishingly expensive gas. Oh, and also, you only have 45 minutes to drive to a restaurant, order food, eat food, drive back, and get to class. Race ya!

Home food:

Now, many of you are probably thinking right now, “Just bring in food from home. Duh.” And while home food is great, as you can pretty much bring in whatever you want, it equally has its cons. Unfortunately, when it comes to food from home, you are the one making it, so wake up bright and early, and get cooking! And don’t forget about cleaning up the mess that you made. Adding on, home food needs to be transported to school, quickly becoming soggy and repulsive, instead of the five-star meal you were looking forward to. But hey, at least you won’t get any chronic stomach aches afterward, just nauseous while looking at it smushed around in your backpack. 

Now, I understand you’re feeling hopeless, but this list can be used as your lunchtime guide! Choose your lunch wisely…